Love your life even when you want to swap it, and your Pops

Happy day-late father's day. It was good to be able to spend some time at home this weekend with the family, it was the first time since christmas that all five of us, six with Jeff-sister's finance. And I really needed to get out of Superior to be away for a while to just chill and sit on the porch with my puppy and cat watching the sunset and trying not to let my mind think about anything else beisde the beautiful sunset and the stray misquito that wanted to suck my blood-and I let him because it was a reassurance that my heart had not been completly drained of life as much as it feels is does. WOW, well I guess that how I feel. Yeah so in the mean time since I last jotted words for you to read, I went to China for three weeks and it was amazing---that is going to be a note for a later time since I really don't have that much in me to recap three weeks of amazing happy life when I return to feel akward and uncomfortable in my own skin, and no it's not a body image issue, it is just the closest thing that surrounds me and is with me everywher I go. Okay so maybe its my shadow, because at least that does not always stare me in the face, it hide behind me, and lingers in the shadows of other things trying to escape. After all isn't that what a shadow is, a distorted representation of something trying to escape from something; afterall I'm sure that even trees have hurt that they want to leave their branches.
So obviously my mind is on a wonder track, I'm here typing whatever comes to my fingertips not even looking, as I watch the wonderful Conan and listen to the local radio show where Walter is interviewing a fab local musician. Speaking of friends, Thank you Jen for driving to EauClaire to have lunch with me I miss you tons and hope to spend more tiem with you soon. You know friends always know when they need eachother, thank you for driving around with me ina city that either of us know just for the sake of driving and talking it was great, well not the topic but having you there with me was needed, next time I will join you for ice cream.
Okay, I'm spent. I havve no idea why since it feels as though I have been doing nothing more than sleeping and wiping tears off of my cheeks. Oh, maybe thats it. Life is grand, just holing your hand....now would somebody please find me a hand to hold, I want to be done crying on shoulders.
my next note will be a happier up lifting note about my great weekend at home, where I tried on my bride's maid dress for my sister's wedding, meet Jen for lunch, saw my brother form Flordia, went to my 5th year class reunion, went to my friend's wedding and caught up with old pals, spent quality time with my sister and saw her in her wedding dress which is very beautiful, spent good talking time with Jeff, and mom, all not in that order but in a nut shell that was my weekend, and of course was home for Father's day with Pops.
I'm out----Angelina